Just a Little Talk with Jesus

“So do you think they should have traded him or just let him run out his contract?”

“I don’t know. I don’t care for their manager. He never seems to have the best interests of the team in mind when he makes those trades.”

“I know. I wish we could just get some solid hitters for a change.”

(Long pause….)

“So... Mom. What do you think?”

Dinner conversation around the table usually involved my sons and husband doing all of the talking and me doing all of the listening. Unless my daughter was also around, the topic was sports. It’s not that I don’t enjoy sports. I just don’t have the deep interest in the “business” of sports. After a few minutes, they usually noticed my silence and tried to draw me into the conversation. But it was no use. I just didn’t feel the same intense excitement.

“I want to talk to you” can be the beginning of a different on-way conversation. Sometimes it's wise to test the waters to discover the topic. We also might ask to schedule a time in the future so we can prepare for possible challenges or problems in order to avoid an ambush.

But when the blank is filled in, it’s clear what the person has in mind. “I want to talk to you about your behavior.” “I want to talk to you about your job for next year.” I tell me husband, “I want to talk to you about our vacation plans.” He tells me, “I want to talk to you about something I volunteered you for.” In each case the agenda is set. It’s just a “For Your Information” conversation.

I prefer hearing, “Can we talk?” Most of the time I can be certain it will be a two-way exchange. My input may be important, even requested.

And then there are times when I think, or even actually say, “I really don’t want to have this conversation.” Even if they're not being accusatory, it may be something I just don’t want to deal with. Can’t we discuss this later? Or never?

I really get annoyed with conversations people share in my presence. Some people are so loud, talking either on their phones or with the person sitting right next to them. There is no attempt to shield me from their "private chat."

My favorite conversations are the ones that take place in my head. Sometimes I’m chatting away with my husband and then mentally continue the train of thought. Moments later I drop back in with my voice and leave my husband completely bewildered. I forget I’ve left him out of the loop!

I have all sorts of conversations with God. Sometimes I tell him, “I want to talk to you!” in anger, frustration, or panic. He’s never “ambushed.” And He never says, “Can you give me an idea what you want to talk about?” “Can we schedule a time to have this conversation?” Of course not! He already knows both the topic and my feelings about it. He also knows when I just want to unload. And I usually feel so much better, even if it seems to be a one-way conversation.

Sometimes those conversations are out loud for everyone to hear and hopefully benefit from, especially when I’m making intercessions for others. Those are the times I really don’t mind others in the group eavesdropping in on my chats with our Lord.

At other times those conversations are initiated by Him… when my conscience is telling me to quit justifying something I’ve said or done.

And then there are those words with my Lord Jesus that are only whispers or that take place just in my head. Words I don’t want anyone else to hear. No fear of someone eavesdropping. Because no one can. Not even Satan. Only God and I know what we’re talking about.

Isn’t that refreshing? No worries about tapped phones. No concern about anyone listening in. I truly think it’s safe to say there will never be technology that can listen in on those conversations. Thank goodness!

For where else can I be completely honest, completely exposed in my failures, my frailties? Who else could I ever trust with my whole heart, soul, and mind? Who else would never betray a confidence or a secret thought?

Only my loving Lord gives me that assurance. He promises to keep listening and chatting with me no matter what I want to share with Him. He's there whenever I need His words of forgiveness. And anytime I need Him to restore my joy!

Leaving my guilt at the cross,

Christine